Adorably – and horrifyingly – on display at the tinyBuild Booth at PAX East, was a Roomba – caged, and covered in blood. ‘What was this‘?, I wondered. Had I stumbled onto the set of a remake for Chopping Mall? What I discovered, after I took a second to let the gentle reverberations of the Roomba wash over me, was quite possibly one of the most original and hysterical concepts I’ve seen in a while. I don’t think I’ve laughed this hard while gaming in years. What I’m talking about is Justice Sucks, the latest from Samurai Punk, and undoubtedly one of my next favorite games.
In Justice Sucks you play as a Roomba. After being introduced to Dusty McClean – the scrappy yellow robot vacuum cleaner that adores his family – you’re asked to do what is expected of a house-keeping bot: you clean up spills, turn on the television, ping a misplaced set of keys, and even play a game of hide and seek with the kids. As Dusty, you have a handful of basic techniques at your disposal. Your ‘Dash‘ move helps zip around the house with speed and ease (just be mindful of that Battery Level, which acts as Dusty’s ‘stamina’). You have a ‘Suck‘ function that gobbles up objects of all shapes and sizes. You can ‘hack’ into any and all technology in the house such as ceiling fans, light switches, sockets, and television sets, to activate or ping them. You can be hide by tucking yourself underneath a dresser, a bed, or a sofa. And pesky spills can be wiped up by simply passing over them – just like a real Roomba! It’s all so very wholesome, very family-friendly, and in no way prepares you for what comes next. As soon as the family steps out, and the day transitions into night, your humble home is besieged by burglars, the game starts talking about ‘Blood Levels‘, how to dispose of dead bodies, and the urgency of cleaning up crime scenes. Because as it turns out, all that cleaning and sucking, and hiding and hacking, have nothing to do with maintaining a tidy household.
Gameplay in Justice Sucks is Metal Gear meets Deception. As a tiny vacuum cleaner, don’t expect to survive more than a few kicks from your enemies – they are a lot bigger and hate you for messing up their well-planned burgling. This is why you got have to be as sneaky devious as possible and use the environment to move around undetected while waiting for the exact moment to strike. Murdering the pack of money-hungry thieves comes courtesy of all the tech around the house, which you can trigger like traps ala Deception (man, I miss that series) once enemies are within range. Switches, sockets, and light fixtures can used to shock, doors can be flung off the hinges, and ceiling fans can slow enemies down. You can also ping these devices to draw an enemy out and set them up for the kill. Time is of the essence though, so while you have to move quietly, you also have to move quickly. You have to act fast lest your home be completely ransacked of fat stacks of cash and satchels of filled with gold coins, because banks aren’t a thing, probably. As pleasantly ‘Home Alone-y‘ as all of this sounds, you can’t just leave a bunch corpses on the floor. So naturally you have to suck them up with your vacuum, which appears to be powered by the Arc Reactor as it so powerful it literally rips your victims to pieces, leaving behind a massive pool of blood and meat. It’s like…remember that scene from The Blob sucks a dude through a kitchen drain? Yeah, it’s like that. After everyone’s dead, the countdown begins and you are given a bit of time to clean up the mess you made. All of this matters as your combat prowess, amount of time it takes to complete a level, and your percentage of cleanliness, are all calculated and graded at the end of each stage. But nutty as all of this sounds, Justice Sucks goes and gets even nuttier.
Soon after you’ve disposed of all those bad dudes, you get a special visit from the Corporate Warranty Enforcement Squad. You take a pretty savage beating and, after being smashed into a TV, you wake up in some bizarre television-world space where you are greeted by Sexy McClean, your buff, human-like alter ego. This is all presented to the backdrop of a 90’s boy-band track that dials up the crazy and made me feel like I was on drugs. Sexy McClean represents your fighting spirit and just when you think you’ve seen it all, he teaches you a handful of special skills which range from cloaking yourself to charging right into an enemy with a powerful ram attack for maximum damage – all of which require blood to execute. All these skills will come in handy as your family back in the living world has been kidnapped and its up to Dusty to save them.
Justice Sucks broke my brain in the best possible way. The gameplay loop is addicting and satisfying. The controls are tight and responsive. The soundtracks rocks. The world is equal parts cartoon and grindhouse, and I’m completely here for it. I can’t help but feel reminded of the PS1-era of games, where things were highly experimental and had an ‘anything goes‘ approach to game design; Justice Sucks embraces that philosophy. Dusty represents the hero in all of us and I can’t wait for the full game to get here so I can save my family. You can get your hands on the insanity right now with the demo on Steam. Justice Sucks will release on PC, and consoles later this year. You can also check out the prequel game, Roombo: First Blood, on Steam.
