An outrageously bloody good time.
Blades of Steel was the go-to sports game for any young gamer that owned an NES back in the day. Its simple, arcade-style gameplay and hilarious boxing mini-game that resulted in the pummeled player getting a penalty lead to some pretty memorable gaming sessions. Super Blood Hockey takes this exact formula and cranks the absurdity way up.
The first thing you are going to want to do before you skate onto the ice, is change the game’s ‘Blood’ Option. The game’s default setting is 100ML and the options become increasingly more ridiculous Extreme Blood will have the ice crimson in no time and you will find yourself less concerned about scoring goals and more concerned with the well being of these fictional sprites. Dear GOD is this game violent. Pixelated…but bloody as all hell.
After you get the ropes, head over to franchise mode. The scene opens with you approaching a secretary to register your coach and team. You soon find out you don’t have enough funds, but no worries, they blow a dart in your neck to harvest your kidney to help finance your entry. That is not exaggerated in the least bit. This game goes to the absurd and asks “THAT ALL YOU GOT?!”. The dark humor here is abound and had me in stitches on more than one occasion. Sure the game play may be simple, but it is the RPG and team management elements that make this game much deeper. You have to balance the dietary habits of your players to ensure proper weight, give them activities to improve stats or lower brain damage, or even give them some drugs to give stat boosts. How this game is even on a Nintendo console is a feat itself, but I am glad it is. This game would not be as charming if it wasn’t for the darkness and hilarious violence.
You draft your inmates from a catalog to fill your roster. You can only have 16 total players, though, so keeping your players alive and growing in skill level is the real challenge. Players seem to get brain damage faster than they can heal it. But don’t worry, the drug dealer in the dark alleyway can sell you some pot that will double brain damage recovery at the risk of losing some fisticuffs prowess. It’s a balancing act that is challenging, but rewarding.
Game play is just like Blades of Steel, except you can charge your shots and passes. The harder the shot the more blood it spouts from anything in its path. The goalies seem to be the only thing that doesn’t ooze red pixels. When enough blood hits the ice a massive brawl breaks out. The last man standing wins the fight and the last one down ends up convulsing on the floor for what one could guess is a power play.
While the game play may seem simple, the AI is brutal on higher difficulty. You really need to have sharp passes even on easy mode, and scoring will be at a premium no matter what difficulty. This leads to incredibly intense action in a pretty damn simple game, which adds tons of value. Once you get used to it all, the franchise mode is where you want to be for maximum good times.
Franchise isn’t the only mode to play through, however. Challenge mode is a nice change of pace that has you battle the odds in hilarious situations, which in turn unlocks some options in game. A favorite is the Mega Rumble challenge which has you play a 12 v 12 game that upon completion will unlock adjustable puck elasticity. Another will have you take control of only one of your players with the hopes of unlocking the option to play like this in any match. Here is hoping more challenge modes are added over time, as there are only 5 at the start. They are a nice change of pace in between going for the championship in franchise or tournament mode.
If there is one thing to really complain about with this game, it is the music variety just isn’t there. The track that plays during games is fun, but you may find yourself wishing for something else, especially with how well composed the one track is.
Solo dev Loren Lemcke has a true killer game here. From its dark humor to simple yet satisfying game play, Super Blood Hockey will have you in stitches, which is far better than a partially disfigured testicle.
A review key was provided by Digerati for the Nintendo Switch.
